Reminders are powerful tools to help me get to the next moment of choice. For instance Right Now My Heart Is Healing or I Am Not My Past or Healing Has Its Own Time And I Trust It.
We all have hearts and having a heart means that at some point it will most likely be ripped from our chest, stomped on, disregarded, ridiculed, refused, misjudged, misunderstood and left.
Being human means that at some point we will most likely be the one to do such damage to another. We love, we hurt, we cause hurt, we put ourselves back together and we love again.
My heart remembers hurt. In the past it has recoiled from situations that reflected past pains. At the time, my heartbreak left me no choice but to shut down, defending myself against the elements of this (perceived) cruel existence. Past traumas, when left unchecked, impeded my ability to find love in the present moment. And yet revisiting the scene of past hurt, revisiting the damaged, fractured areas of my being turned out to be exactly what I need in order to learn from, gain insight into and experience a true healing of these wounds.
Tending to and learning from my heartbreak turned out to be a new gateway to Me. I learned there is no right way to mend a fractured heart. There is no proper timeline to stick to. There are no deadlines. There are no endings to the ways in which healing can occur and eventually does occur. There is no guidebook for every heart, and the stories it holds, is unique. Each heart has its own rhythm. Each heart has its own cycles of growth. Each person’s heart is a pathway to its own unique source of wisdom.
I am not here to be perfect. I am no longer ashamed of past mistakes or feel guilty for what I wasn’t capable of doing. I am grateful for all I can see in retrospect and for applying that wisdom to the present. My mind can heal and will heal even more as I trust my life even more.
There is no right way or wrong way to love. You can only muster up the courage to do your best and then do it again a little better and again a little better . . . Love happens when I question my beliefs and test their ability to hold water, hold my heart and hold the entirety of my life.
And today, I love my life even more than I did yesterday.
With Love and Light